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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?